She Hasn’t, Not Yet

She hasn’t come to me.  Not yet. 

Friday will be exactly 6 months since she left.  I thought she would have visited by now, but she hasn’t. No, not yet.

I keep thinking and wondering about it, trying to understand why.  Why?  WHY hasn’t she come to me?

Does she not  want to come back?  It would not be  fair of me to be upset with her for that when  horrible anger and chaos surrounded her departure. Anger that she questioned but didn’t understand. Anger and chaos that was undeserved.  Is this it?  Is this why she hasn’t come?   Yet.  

Or is it something else? Has she not come yet  because of her own anger and disappointment at the way things ended, knowing how hard she worked, how loving and supportive she was, but not have that returned to her in the end?  Or is she waiting to see if I can–we can– figure this out  before she comes?

Not yet.  When?  When will she  come?  When I am more present?  When things are settled?  When I am not feeling pain because she hasn’t come yet?  When I don’t expect to hear her?  WHEN?

This is as it is supposed to be, I know.  She hasn’t come, not yet.   For now.

For now, I have to be satisfied with sending her messages through the universe, knowing they will reach her heart…

May you be filled with lovingkindness.

May you be safe and happy.

May you be well.

May you be peaceful and at ease.

My message has been sent.  It is out there in the universe for her to hear.   For now,  she has not come.  Not yet. 

But she will.

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